He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
