why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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