i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
