I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
