vagina is talking i cant
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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