she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
