I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I met the friendliest cop last night
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
