I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
