Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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