i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
