I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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