He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
only you would photoshop your dick
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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