Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
