If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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