Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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