But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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