Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
