So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
