Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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