put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
