Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
