I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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