Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
