Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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