apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
