i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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