If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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