I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
