Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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