I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize