We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
