I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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