We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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