please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
