I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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