just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
