Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
