So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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