I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
