Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I love you. Go after that dick
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
