i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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