i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
