finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
