PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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