he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
