Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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