I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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