Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
