We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
