i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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