Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
