dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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