He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
