Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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