Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
