no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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