my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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