i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
