Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
