i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
