my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just want to make out with him forever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
