I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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