I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize