Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
