this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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