I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
