She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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